I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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