is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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