I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
