Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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