Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize