she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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