booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
