is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
