google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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