if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Alive.
So much puke
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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