you're like a bully in the Christmas story
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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