So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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