just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
