So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
