he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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