She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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