Don't make out with my wife yet
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
there was a trapeze. enough said
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
