party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
