it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
