Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just want nice things and good sex
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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