I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
