covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
