i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
