is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Are we still banned from the library?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
