Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
