I think i peed on brittanys purse
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
