You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
