i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
