Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
