im gay
i know
yea but for you.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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