Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize