Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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