Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
