Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
