ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Dick very happy bro
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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