Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
