Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize