the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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