apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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