You work out of a Hotel?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
