omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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