I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
