I'm eating all of the evidence.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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