all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
