i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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