Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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