party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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