he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
