wakey wakey hands off snakey
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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