I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
