I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
