Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
