the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
