At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
