Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's shark week go big or go home
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
